There are monsters out there. Scary, big ones. And they’ll haunt our dreams and crawl on our bodies for eternity. Nothing will ever make us comfortable knowing they exist, even in fiction. Then, there are some that are just Goddamn ridiculous. Here are ten of such monsters.
The Fiend Without a Face (1958)
Though ultimately, they’re just crawling brains and spinal columns, the most interesting aspect of the fiends is their invisibility for the majority of the runtime as they slowly gain their terrifying form.
The Creeping Terror (1964)
A giant, moving rug. Due to the extremely low-budget, this largely-narrated alien invasion tale amounts to little more than a big, badly dilapidated wool rug laying on top of its victims.
John Frankenheimer’s nature-gone-wrong turns into more of a nature-film-gone-wrong and features a bizarre, giant fetus-like bear terrorizing a mountainside.
Murders in Rue Morgue (1932)
Robert Florey’s Universal picture reduces Edgar Allen Poe’s classic short story into one scene and focuses on Bela Lugosi’s mad scientist as he inexplicably injects human blood into an Orangutang. Said Orangu-man then takes his love interest across the rooftops of Rue Morgue in a finale that bears a striking resemblance to King Kong.
Ghosts of Mars, Quatermass and The Pit (1967)
No, not the ghosts that nearly brought about an end to John Carpenter’s directorial debut. The ghosts in Quatermass and the Pit are giant grasshopper creatures bent on re-populating the English community on Hobb’s Lane in what is arguably one of the best science fiction films ever made.
Cactus monster, The Quatermass Experiment (1955)
Though it begins as a standard astronaut returns from space with aliens inside him, the monster only gets stranger after it absorbs a cactus sitting in his hospital room. Later inspired a David Bowie song off “Hunky Dory.”
Hedorah – The Smog Monster, Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)
This bizzare, Lovecraftian, Godzilla villian is a graceless lump of smog.
Godzilla’s Son (Adorazilla), Son of Godzilla (1967)
Look at that cute little bastard? He belongs in Dinosaurs!, not a Godzilla movie. Look at him, don’t you kind of want to hug him? Like most children introduced in franchises, fans of the series count Manilla as the most annoying addition.
Horror Of Party Beach (1964)
There is quite an epic hot dog-eating contest on Party Beach.
Queen Kong (1976)
It’s hard to fear or worship something that looks like ALF in drag.