No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I refuse, I completely refuse to watch another Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice trailer. The joke that the trailers and advertisements for the long awaited superhero smashup are way too numerous and have given away too much of the film’s plot and action has gone beyond a joke, and into the realm of cold hard fact. And with the film’s premier less than a few weeks away, you’d think they’d finally cool it already but nope, here’s a final international trailer with apparently some new footage, but I wouldn’t know because I steadfastly refuse to watch it. I’ve seen too much of this movie! I feel like I can already recite three quarters of the plot beat for beat, I feel like I have a nuanced and personal understanding of each character’s motivation, like I’ve known them all my life and we have coffee on weekends and vent at eachother. If you want to partake of this hopefully last piece of marketing for Batman vs Superman, be my guest, but I for one am going to abstain from watching and base the rest of this write-up on the version of this trailer that exists in my head. Cool? Cool.
So the new trailer opens on more or less what we’d expect by now, Batman punching a bunch of people, Jesse Eisenberg being kind of annoying, it’s all very been there done that. But midway through, the last BvS trailer drops perhaps the biggest bombshell of its entire marketing campaign when Bats, Superman and Wonder Woman are joined in the battle against Doomsday not by Aquaman, not by The Flash, but by the main character of the 1975 Chinese superhero movie Super Inframan. And while the rest of the crew look all flashy and modern in their new costumes, Inframan surprises just about everyone by appearing in the exact same costume from his solo movie. I gotta say, I respect the hell out of Zack Snyder and the Batman vs Superman wardrobe department for not trying to put a modern slant on the Chinese hero’s bright red duds, even if he looks a bit shoddy next to his newfound compatriots. Anyway, it looks as though Inframan’s arrival will be the turning point in the battle against Doomsday, because as soon as he arrives he manages to knock the villain square on his rocky behind with a flying kick, looped three times in classic Inframan fashion. But things get even crazier from there, when the team are joined by yet another new combatant, and one whose arrival is even more astonishing than Inframan’s!
Suddenly in the heat of the battle, an arrow flies out of nowhere, piercing Doomsday’s shoulder and exploding a chunk right off the creature. Who fired it? Was it Green Arrow? Is it Stephen Amell? NO! It’s b-movie legend Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, reprising his role as Nadir from the classic post-apocalypse action epic Warriors of the Wasteland! Williamson looks right at home back in Nadir’s classic headband and weird shoulderpads, and with a quip of “ya miss me, mother truckers?” (I’m guessing that line is gonna be significantly different in the R-rated blu-ray release) Nadir takes his place alongside his new teammates, in what will doubtlessly overtake Spider-Man’s appearance in the Captain America: Civil War trailer as the most gif’d moment of the year.
I don’t know which I want to know more: how two characters like Inframan and Nadir manage to find themselves in Gotham city, or how DC and Warner Bros managed to keep the appearance of two obscure genre movie characters in their high-profile blockbuster secret for so long! In a single trailer, Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, and the DC Movie Universe, has become an entirely separate beast from what we all thought it was, and it probably wouldn’t be a stretch to say that these new additions will bring in a whole new demographic of obscure genre movie geeks to the film’s audience!
Have a look for yourself below if you don’t believe me. And I don’t know about you, but I’m pre-ordering my ticket NOW.
(credit to Zachariah Campbell for creating the silliest and awesomest genre movie mashup image ever)