I’m sitting here thinking that the new Saw movie, which is titled Saw 3D, should really be titled Someone Make it Stop, no? Am I the only human thinking this? Anyway, world-views aside, yet another in the Saw series is coming to the big screen only this time with a wild, crazy and tired twist: it’ll be in 3D!!
Tobin Bell must be making a killing at this stage – no pun intended – and he’s back again as the maniacal Jigsaw. Twisted Pictures and Lionsgate have released the trailer for the “mind-blowing” bonanza, which lets you in on some of the gory action: 3D-goggled audience members trapped in their seats by angry, steal-spiked harnesses; crazed-yet-hot teenboys struggling with a cracked-out table saw; and a perfectly-coiffed, half-dressed waif about to be skewered by a hybrid harpoon mine car.
According to Lionsgate’s official synopsis, survivors from the previous films get together and contact self-help expert and Jigsaw-survivor Bobby Dagen (Sean Patrick Flanery) for help. Unfortunately for them, Dagen’s own hidden secrets surface and more high-tech traps come to life to wreak havoc on anyone who thought for a second that they’d ever get away alive. Fat chance. Bubye.
I love when Hollywood tries to distract you with CGI-to-the-mofo-max so that in your graphics-drunken haze you might somehow miss the formulaic and cheesy storyline… and I use the term storyline very loosely.
All that being said, you know you’re gona go see it. How can you resist such three dimensional, horrific bliss? As Jigsaw says in the trailer: “This game has a new design… Fear, suffering, death, you haven’t seen anything yet… all of my work has been leading to this…” What? A 3D finale? Way to milk it!
Saw 3D: The Traps Come Alive is out in theatres on October 22nd.