In Search of the Ultra-Sex
Written & Directed by Nicolas Charlet & Bruno Lavaine
In Search of the Ultra-Sex is a dream-come-true for the 14 year-old boy inside all of us. With footage lifted directly from vintage X-rated films and then over-dubbed with outrageous dialogue, directors Nicolas Charlet and Bruno Lavaine have created a pornographic Mystery Science Theater 3000. Hilarious, raunchy, and extremely hairy, In Search of the Ultra-Sex is the perfect midnight aphrodisiac.
A ragtag group of space cowboys, led by Captain Cock and his crew from the Foreskin Five battle cruiser, must retrieve the stolen ‘Ultra-Sex;’ a mysterious force that regulates fornication. Without the Ultra-Sex, the Earth is consumed by a calamitous orgy of sex and questionable fashion choices. Battles will be waged and panties will be lost as Captain Cock plunges into the impenetrable void of space to reclaim the Ultra-Sex.
At an economical 60 minutes, this pornographic space opera never overstays its welcome. French writer-directors Nicolas Charlet and Bruno Lavaine poured over 2500 films, most of them X-rated, from the years 1974-1995 to find the backbone of In Search of the Ultra-Sex. Most of their source material is appropriately idiotic. Porn legend Harry Reams pays balletic tribute to a glowing orb, Cyrano and Edward Scissorhands get the necessary appendage makeovers, and roller-rinks have never seen a ‘couples skate’ quite this intense. And there’s plenty of space wankery to further the plot, including robots named R2Dick2 and Daft Punk. All of this juvenile vulgarity keeps the surprisingly-cohesive narrative both lighthearted and harmless.
But make no mistake; this is an exceedingly vulgar affair. Privates swing and co-mingle in nearly every frame of the action. While all of the actual penetration is sanitized for our protection, anyone with moral scruples regarding pornography should avoid In Search of the Ultra-Sex at all costs. Luckily, both men and women get the full-frontal treatment, so Charlet and Lavaine are equally exploitative of both genders.The look of Ultra-Sex may be seedy and cheap, but the filmmakers put plenty of effort into their fevered creation. All of the ridiculous dubbing is provided by men (even for the female characters), and it knows just when and how to break the fourth wall for maximum comic effect. When an eager lesbian lover complains that she can’t see her partner’s pixelated crotch, she’s reassured that, “It’s normal… we’re in a hijacked movie.” The soundtrack and sound effects are first rate, as well. DeLorean doors swing open like squeaky hinges, and laser blasters sound like little boys playing in the backyard. It’s also nice to see the gang from Samurai Cop make an appearance, including the late (and great) Robert Z’Dar.
In Search of the Ultra-Sex offers no apologies for its hopelessly crude and immature attitudes toward sex. It wallows in obscenity for no greater purpose than to titillate. Most of its jokes and gags could be overheard on the playground around the corner. There is no redeeming value or greater message to be gleaned. It’s just a hilarious celebration of carnality; a window not only into our sexual proclivities, but the lengths to which we will go to legitimize them with proper “stories.” Somewhere, Beavis & Butt-head are giggling hysterically.
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