Jupiter Ascending

‘Jupiter Ascending’ rises to absurd and hilarious heights

That sound you’re hearing is a massive sigh of relief from David Lynch. He no longer holds the dubious distinction of producing the most expensive B-movie in the history of Hollywood. That honor now belongs to The Wachowskis, whose Jupiter Ascending has officially displaced Dune at the top (or bottom) of the heap. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however. Jupiter Ascending not only looks spectacular, it’s a laugh riot. Ridiculous dialogue, hammy performances, and enough mythology to baffle Zeus make this disaster a must-see for all lovers of cheese.

Most Anticipated Blockbusters of 2015 (That Aren’t Already Hyped to Death)

Most of the most anticipated movies of the year, quite frankly, don’t need any more hype than they already have. You’re probably reading this very article nestled in your Avengers: Age of Ultron officially silenced snuggy (“there are no loose threads on meeee…”) or standing in the obsidian-dark shadow of a three-story Jurassic World banner ad. So in the name of shedding more light on those 2015 cinematic hopefuls that don’t have marketing budgets so well funded that they could stage a coup in a small Latin-American country, we’re taking a look at some of 2015’s lesser-hyped blockbusters.

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