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The Amazing Race, Ep. 23.7: “Speed Dating Is the Worst” Is the Worst

The Amazing Race, Ep. 23.7: “Speed Dating Is the Worst” Is the Worst

The Amazing Race S23E07 promo pic 2

The Amazing Race, Season 23, Episode 7: “Speed Dating Is the Worst”
Aired Sundays at 8pm (ET) on CBS

Speed Dating is the Worst

Only six teams are left, and Schonbrunn Palace in Vienna, Austria is the start of the 7th leg to cut it down to five. Mr. and Mrs. Dr. head off first, then the Baseball Wives—but the Afghanimals become the favorite for the leg when they find out they’re headed to Abu Dhabi and are “going home!!!” They even quickly book a flight before anyone else, putting themselves a whole, er, ten minutes ahead of the pack (again, no idea why people try to separate themselves—just not worth it). The Ice Girls feel like underdogs going last, but will rely on their Race Husbands to navigate their way through the “man’s world” of the Middle East; also some solid strategy.

Jason and Amy interview about their fight with Tim and Marie last episode. “Keep your friends close and enemies closer,” Amy oh-so-sagely dispenses. Jason takes this to heart and has some friendly exchange with Tim, to Tim’s dude-ish delight. “Just dudes getting over stuff like dudes dudes dudes,” he tells Marie when she asks what Jason said. “We get over stuff too!” Marie protests. “That’s cause you’re a dude!”

But you know who’s not a dude? The Baseball Wives. Stretching, sipping tea, or putting on makeup, that’s their game. And Marie’s had enough! But no matter, soon we get to an incredibly picturesque mosque, and all the women, pink-haired or no, must don a black body covering to get through. We also get a lesson on Muslim relations: “You can’t categorize a whole people based on one person’s actions,” the Baseball Wives say. Others seem less sure, but the discussion doesn’t really go anywhere oh look, it’s time for a detour: Sort it Out or Sew It Up.

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It’s sorting through dates to assemble an elaborate display, or sewing up a fishing net. Mr. and Mrs. Dr. and Jason and Amy choose the net, in the “hotter than Hotlanta” sun, but everyone else chooses the dates. Afghanimals are ahead but they don’t see a separate table with more dates on them. Tim and Marie argue like usual, and Leo gets off on Marie’s “manhandling” of her ex. Mrs. Dr. keeps making mistakes tying knots. They discuss using their Express Pass but decide not to quit. No one’s in a great position.

Eventually, the Baseball Wives find the secret dates. Afghanimals notice their display is better and ask, but don’t receive. The Baseball Wives are afraid to tell them and that they’ll be loud about it, although I can’t imagine why since they’re in a race and—“WE FOUND THEMMMMMMMM!!!!!” Oh. They were right. Now everyone knows, and Amy’s “Assanimals” comment comes back to mind.

Jason and Amy quietly finish their net, end up in 1st place, and must go to Al Bandar Marina and take a luxury cruise to the Roadblock. Afghanimals come in 2nd.  Dr.’s in 3rd, and then slowly rest of teams make it pretty close together. However, the Baseball Wives miss the cruise by a hair, and end up fifteen minutes behind for the next boat to leave.

Roadblock: Who wants to drop in on a hot lap? Jason and Leo, from the first two teams, zipline and rappel down to a race track, where they get in a car and must look for signs that say names and times of different racecar drivers, finding the fastest person with the fastest time. It’s nauseating to watch them go round and round, and also boring. Everyone ends up leaving in pretty much the order they came Except the Afghanimals, who have good luck on the track, and in their homeland, and end up team #1 with a trip to Paris. 2nd is Jason and Amy. 3rd is Drs. Tim and Marie 4th.

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In the end, it comes down to Ice Girls and Baseball Wives. Ice Girls girl has no idea what she’s looking for at first, but eventually makes it through after a bunch of guesses. Baseball Wives finish shortly after and try to catch up, but they don’t beat them. They end up in last place and get teary over it being a “really cool experience.” However, Phill tells them this is a non-elimination, and they are still in the game, which makes sense, since the tasks were so straightforward and unexciting, but makes for a somewhat lousy episode overall. At least we’ll get to hear more of the Wives’ stunning Middle Eastern commentary.