Skip to Content

The Carrie Diaries, Ep. 1.03: “Read Before Use”

The Carrie Diaries, Ep. 1.03: “Read Before Use”


The Carrie Diaries, Season 1, Episode 3: “Read Before Use”
Written by Terri Minsky
Directed by Daisy von Scherler Mayer
Airs Monday at 8pm (ET) on the CW

 In for a Penny, in for a Something.

When an episode opens with “Let’s face it, life is easier when you read the labels…”Your brain instantly wants to finish that sentence in one of two ways, either“…But it’s not any fun!” setting up an hour of Carrie along side her friends and their hijinks as they prove to the world they can’t be defined. Or the classic“…But sometimes you misread the labels”where Carrie faces the detriments of being too quick to judge. But then again maybe you just should read the label because these characters for better or worse end the episode right where they started. Mouse tries to silence her best Charlotte Yorkisms and act cool and nonchalant on her date with Seth, only to find out it’s her“dorkyness” that gets him going. Maggie vows to end her reign as the group’s drama queen, only to regain her throne, almost instantly, and just when you think maybe Sebastian isn’t a roué, you find out he had to leave his old school because he slept with his teacher (What? Dads not on board with that? The nerve of that man!)

The most noticeable lows in the episode are Carries groan-worthy now token misstep with her father, when she admittedly goes through his files. Hey Carrie, just a quick heads up if you do something wrong and are hand delivered a way out, take it. Aka‘Yes father, Sebastian told me about the affair that is precisely how I came across this information.”The second and most notable are found in its attempts to share the spotlight amongst Carrie’s inner circle (disappointingly sans Larissa), in contrast to the previously given glimmers into their lives beyond Carrie. Having a cast of established, vibrant characters is obviously essential to any show but these side stories seemed lackluster in comparison to Carrie’s clueless law breaking, vagina watching, power owning, pun filled evening.

Speaking of vaginas, just when hamster hunt ’84 had you on the end of your seat, enter an experimental performance art show featuring a vagina flashing“ex” porn star, in this weeks most note worthy Sex and the City allusion After the initial shock, this scene offers the episodes true theme, being who you are by “owning your power”now, whether that’s a desire to go on an ice cream date or expose your who-ha for a penny is completely up to you.

Either way things felt about as flat as those“Hostess”cupcakes; hopefully next week can get things back on track.

– Ashley Blackburn