Horror

‘The Lazarus Effect’ resurrects nothing but boredom

It’s easy to be disillusioned by bland, scare-free horror films like The Lazarus Effect. Of course, not every horror film makes Ouija look like The Exorcist, but perhaps we can use this as a learning exercise. Rather than cursing the darkness, let’s light a little candle and look at “Three Things We Can Learn from The Lazarus Effect.”

‘Le Scaphandrier’ will make you yearn for the Scrappy-Doo era of Scooby Doo

Canadian cinema seems endlessly intertwined with the fringe appeal of horror genre. The first boom of horror happened in the 1970s when Canada’s tax policy allowed producers to take a fee of production costs before the film earned back its production costs (which is not allowed in the States), driving many low quality projects into theatres. Horror was always a safe bet because it was particularly cheap to make, and if they happened to land on a success the return on the investment would generally be a lot higher than for more “prestige” pictures. As that tax-shelter eventually closed up, there still remained a rather strong legacy of horror in Canadian cinema and to this day Canadian horror leans towards the adventurous and the innovative.

The Walking Dead, Ep. 5.09, “What Happened and What’s Going On” is a very symbolic return

It’s just an episode to bid a heartbreaking goodbye to our big man Tyreese, but mostly it’s about warning signs and how poorly the group has responded to them. Tyreese mainly failed to find the warning signs within the house he was raiding for character Noah, thus he’s bitten and lies relatively infected and dying from a vicious bite wound. Now he has to face his demons, which come back to find him and show him why he’s basically been the poor man’s survivor the entire the entire time he’s been on the show. The only reason he’s survived so long is because of his size and strength, but beyond that there isn’t much Tyreese has done beyond mow down a few zombies here and there.

‘House of the Dead’ is pretty much the worst thing ever

Over the course of the last century during which film has been a medium, there have been a lot of entries that have demanded the question: just how the hell did this film get made? There is, of course, the floating head epic Zardoz, starring a ponytailed Sean Connery. There’s the disastrously bad, yet endlessly meme-worthy remake of The Wicker Man, with the strangest Nicholas Cage performance ever (which is really saying something). And there is the mind-numbingly, soul-quakingly, unintentionally hilarious mess of The Room.

‘The Woman in Black: Angel of Death’ is a bringer of sleep

Clumsiness is the name of the game with Angel of Death, extending to director Tom Harper’s egregious overuse of cheap jump scares (I started counting, and the number went into double digits), all loud boos and sudden shrieking ghost faces appearing out of nowhere for a split second, only to vanish back into the shadows. You’ll start to wish the woman in black would hurry up and just off them already, she wastes her time so much.

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